4 Months in Yangsan

I have been in South Korea for 4 months now. It hasn’t been an easy time by any measure. Everything about this culture has confused me and I don’t see solutions for these problems. This decade, I have spent a lot of time staring at a computer screen. I know I’ll regret this when I am older. I know that I will feel as though I wasted my twenties. Nothing has changed in the last few months and since my most recent birthday, I have started to feel as though this may be what the rest of my life will look like.

What if I am not as talented or smart as I think I am? What if I suffer from extreme narcissistic delusions? What if this is just another example of how typical my personality really is?

It is starting to seem more and more possible to me that I am no different from the exact people I detest, find boring and can’t respect. I literally have a hard time looking in the mirror.